October 29, 2020
Piglia – (two weeks ago, K., an old classmate from CNF, told me you pronounce glia as an an e sound (like bee). On p. 148 at the bottom an illegible world. The first in more than a decade of his published journaling. This revealed to me that I had assumed a certain level of editing, perhaps not present (and which I perform when transposing these journals to Synoptic City). Does this reflect more truth? Something more spontaneous? And what happens when I edit? The opposite of those two qualities, the draining of soul/spirit that imbues ‘voice.'(?)
The culture of neoliberalism is spreading more and more, organized as a means of “worshiping” everyday modern life. The world is a spectacle, a never ending party.”
Piglia, 150
I’m sitting beside two people, perhaps 29, a woman (reminds me of K.) and a man (a cipher who allows her to just speak at him). They both work for huge corporations. She helps to manage money (4 billion she says) at a London firm. He is about to take the CPE exam (coincidentally invigilated by my friend S. whom I’m waiting for at the cafe). They are like me – a desire to travel, have fun, etc – but by selling out. A term that died by the time they had matured.
Drinking, fucking, travel, sports (mentioned so far – tennis, cricket, skiing, snowboarding, soccer). Talk about flirting: like K. she is always helping men connect with other women. Buoyant, disconnected, always-happy, energetic, their speech has no moral or ethical dimension.
There is nothing wrong with the lives they describe as judged by our current cultural standards. Do I project? Am I jealous?
“Works in D.C. now. At Conservation International. An awesome job.”
And then quickly into who ‘she’ is dating and how to determine the proper height for a boyfriend.
In the first volume Piglia speaks of the serendipity of what is being read intersecting with life, reality, thought – what he is writing about (the above quote on neoliberalism).
. . . although conversations occupy a very important place in my life; but they belong to the order of reality, while the other language (solipsistic and intense) belongs to the order of literature.”
Piglia
She talks about her brother. Ethics emerge. Feminism.
“He just can’t listen to men talk about woman that way.”
His anxiety. He took a class on sustainability. All of us are wondering about ethical capitalism.
I smiled at him when he left. He smiled back. I almost wished him back.
‘The order of reality’ / / ‘the order of literature’
Do I mistake my solipsism as reality? Is that why I get so little from socializing? From love?
On poetics: “but above all I escape from the melodramatic excesses of my family, where everything is sentimental, emotional, and tragic.”
What is my family poetics?
